there could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea
- mum: can you-
- me: *groans for 17 hours*
today at work someone tipped me a potato
in some countries that is a marriage proposal
- Friend: go ask
- Me: no you go ask
- Friend: no you
- Me: fine can i have ketchup
"hey why don’t you do something productive for once?"
It’s hilarious that we live in a society that will shame you for how much sex you have and for the junk food you eat. Like, wow, how dare you eat delicious foods and have orgasms, you’re a monster. Enjoy your miserable life filled with pleasures.
we are the last generation whose baby photos weren’t taken on phones